Day Twenty: Running for an Egyptian

During this morning's run, i couldn't help but think that there are other parts of the world outside of the places that i run.  This made me really sad because that means that there are millions upon millions of people who won't be able to experience the joy, the passion, and the glory of watching me train, stretch, race, sprint, and hustle on a daily basis.  These people must be sad and depressed because I can't think of anything else that would make their life fulfilling.  Plus, I am sure that all of them are SLOW because where can you run at?  On a field?  On trails?  Ha!  Nobody's been able to train to be fast on anything other than paved roads and tracks and streets and stuff.

I ran around 10 miles in 52:04 this morning for a nice easy "get the rust out" type of jog.  Plus i wanted to get my body recovered from yesterday's debacle.  There sure were a lot of supporters on the route today too, because everyone i ran by kept giving me the "You're #1" symbol.  Plus all of the cars would honk at me multiple times as they drove by my right and my left side... Its days like these when you realize how awesome of a human being you are.  But then again, i thought about all of those other people who live in Africa, Egypt, and Delaware who don't even know how beautiful my gait is.  They have never seen the sweat glisten across the backs of my hamstrings as i stroll along in my compression suit.  Being the good person that i am, i figured that this was to happen no more.  I must now reach out.  But how?  My sponsor can barely cover my rent and my shoes and my gel packs.  There is no money left over for a flight to Egypt.  That would cost at least $140 USD.  So i decided to start a fundraiser. 

First i would need an envelope to put checks in and a t-shirt that said "Help me Help Egypt".  So i found a permanent marker and wrote that on one of my undershirts.  There was only one in the drawer which did not have any gel pack stains on it.  Now, i know i was saving this for a formal occasion, but i was in dire financial straits and sometimes you just gotta wear your sunday best, you know.  So i started off going door to door.

You wouldn't imagine the support i was receiving.  People were just handing me checks and cash and stuff.  They asked what i was doing and i told them "I am here to free Egypt from their pain and boredom.  I am going to visit them and bring them faith and happiness.  Please donate to help me help Egypt."    People were just super supportive and kept giving me money.  I moved this on to the city of Chicago as i figured what's successful in Roselle would be at least 4 times as successful in the city.

So for the next three hours, i was raising money by the handfuls for my Egypt trip.  People were hugging me and telling me how good of a person i was, not that i need to know, but it is cool when SLOW people recognize your awesomeness.  It was four o'clock when i counted my money.. Wow!  i had raised $5,540.40.  That would totally get me to egypt.  When all of a sudden some cops approached me and asked me what the hell i was doing.  I gave the full explanation... I told them about my morning run, i gave them my mile splits, i told them what i ate for breakfast and then i told them about how i was gonna save egypt by showing them my running prowess and that it would make them be inspired to be NOT SLOW.  The cops then informed me that number one, i had no permit to solicit donations, and number two, i was being fraudulent and ripping people off.  Apparently there had been some turmoil in Egypt over the past few weeks and people may have gotten the wrong idea about what my intentions were.  SLOW people are such jerky idiots.  So for the second day in a row i was thrown in a jail cell.

Unfortunately today, my mom was on a date with Hector seeing some Adam Sandler movie so no one could bail me out.  In fact, the cops took my money and split it amongst themselves for "beer money' as one guy put it.  I was stuck in a jail cell now with no money and now no Egypt fund.  Damn!  But what i did keep on was my garmin watch and i was getting a signal, so i figured i would go for a second 10 mile run.. Not sure how many laps it will be, but i gotta stick with the dream.  Never Say Never!  Bieber it up!