The run went good, I only ran around 7.247 miles at a decent clip of 5:55 per mile. I like setting my garmin watch to record the thousandth of miles because it really lets me get the most out of my workouts. Any SLOW person on the street could run 7.24 miles, but are they really willing to give 110%? Are they willing to go the extra .007 miles? I don't think so. Well I made sure to shower for work this time and called my nutritionist on the way to work. I told her my diet consisted of Monster energy drinks and gel-packs. She said that was the stupidest thing she has ever heard and lauged aloud. She said that my mom warned her I was a funny guy. I then told her that I was serious and threw my logic all up in her grill. There was a lengthy pause which ensued. She then stated that she would start from the beginning. She said that there were these things called food groups which consisted of lettuce, tuna, cheese, milk, and eggs and stuff. I asked where i could get these items. She paused again. This time i thought i heard some type of slap in the back ground. She then informed me that there were things called supermarkets and they were all over and that for money they would sell me these things. She provided a little more information but my mind drifted into olympics land and before i knew it i was sitting in my car with no radio on and an hour had passed since the conversation.
Well work just FLEW BY today as a majority of these idiots i work with were unable to get themselves to work. Apparently SLOW people can't drive either.. Good thing i am smart and fast and stuff. I worked super hard and couldn't wait to go to the SUPER MARKET. I bought everything the nutritionist told me to buy, but it was very difficult as there were so many things there. I had to keep asking the people who worked there where the milk was. They kept indicating the men's bathroom. I checked and it wasn't there. Just some big guy named Bubba. I told him i was looking for milk. He said he could provide. I said i was not comfortable with this situation and walked away. I think another person decided to buy from him because as soon as they walked in, i heard the door shut and a scream. Must have been a yelling contest. But anyways. I got home and made my first "meal":
It did not taste very good. I put in all of the items i was told to eat. I decided that it would take some getting used to so i just popped some gel packs and called it a meal. I was very excited for my run tonight, albeit it was just a 5-mile tempo. You see I downloaded the hit song "secrets" by onerepublic and was looking forward to listening to it on my run. I got the song really quick and went to put it on my i-pod through the i-tunes. Some weird menus popped up so i just clicked ok. I didn't have too much time after my cooking nightmare so I just went on my run.
As soon as I stepped out the door and turned on my i-pod, it was magic as the song instantly came on. "I need another story, something to get off my chest..." seductively played from my magic music machine. I coordinated my steps and soon was hustling at a 5:45 clip. I felt like a conductor as my feet were at a rhythm with the music and my arms were in sync. This was a heavenly moment. The type of moment a runner dreams of when sitting in a swedish sauna dreaming about life in the olympics. Just ignoring the random old men surrounding you and just thinking about gold around your neck. Well the song had finished and then i waited to see what could play next: "Secrets" by One Republic. Again. I thought to my self this was a miracle.. it was not often that your i-pod shuffle played the very song you downloaded and were looking to listen to not just once but twice during a very important run.... I felt really good at this point and starting singing aloud between breaths.. "Tell me what you want to hear, something that were like those years, I'm sick of the insincere, so i'm gonna give all my secrets away." Man, I was flying because i looked at my watch and i hit mile 2 at a 5:30 clip. And then it hit. The third song on my i-pod was "Secrets" by One Republic. Ok. Two times in a row is good.... but a third time indicated to me something was wrong. Something went horribly wrong. I just kept running. I just kept trying to keep pace..."thought you saw me wink no, i've been on the brink so.." played and the song was soon haunting me.... I pressed skip on the ipod and yet it played again, then i hit backwards and the song played again. "I'm gonna give all my secrets away..." Please God Make THIS STOP! I hit mile 3 and the pace slowed to a 5:40 clip. Oh GOD! I had two more miles.... Soon I found myself putting my feet and arms in rhythm to fling myself into the next car which drove by. The song just kept playing, playing and playing. That stupid symphonic intro... the constant repetition. How many times can someone say secrets? Why is he finally giving all his secrets away? Why is he telling me this. Oh God! How much longer? I look at the garmin and I am only at 3.50 miles and still at 5:40 clip. Left right, pause, right right, pause. I couldn't stop running to the rhythm of the song. What started out as the greatest run ever took a left turn to the corner of Satan & Clay Aiken Boulevard. I kept wishing that I would slip on a patch of ice and be rendered unconscious... I pressed forward again on the i-pod and there was the song again. I screamed for help at some passerbyers... they jumped out of the way. I waved my arms frantically at the cars passing by. They must have known. They must have known that I just caught the One Republic bug and they wanted nothing to do with it. I looked at my watch and was finally at 4.89 miles but the clip slowed to 5:49. Yuck. Needless to say, i mustered all of the courage I could to finish that run. As soon as i got home I smashed my ipod with a hammer.. But that wasn't enough. I Felt drenched in the song and i couldn't get it out of my head. So i put on some "Time to say goodbye" by Andreas Boccelli. I then made myself a batch of rubbing alcohol and burned the running clothes i had previously worn.
Hours had passed and I finally calmed down. What i had endured must have been the most challenging run of my life. It was not going to get any tougher than this. Woo Hoo! I passed the first test of Olympic training. I was ready for the next stage. Now that my confidence is up i can say bring it on world, because here i come! NEVER SAY NEVER!
No comments:
Post a Comment