When i was getting dressed for the gym, i put on the usual garb: compression shorts, compression socks, compression vest, compression hat, compression arm sleeves, compression gloves.. but then i came across something i have not seen in at least 2 business days. My 2010 boston marathon jacket. Now while i truly believe that they should increase the qualifying standards for boston to a 2:15:00 across the board, men & women. I still hold pride when i wear this jacket.
I arrived at the gym, when i noticed the workers looking at me. I went over and began a conversation to the extent of " Do you like my jacket?" to which the 20-year old vixen replied "Huh? Do i know you?". Ha! This lil lady was playing coy, she wanted to know more about it. I felt it in my veins. So i began telling her how awesome of a marathoner that i am and gave a mile-by-mile analysis of my last Boston Marathon, which was a disaster, as i barely limped across the line in 2:49:16 due to upper respiratory infections, insufficient tapering, sleep deprivation, the use of tap water employed at water stations in lieu of spring water, to name a few.. After 45-minutes, she had quite a quizzical look upon her and kept looking at the clock and over at one of her co-workers. I think her eyes rolled a little bit which indicated that she thought i was dreamy. Well anyways, i told her that maybe one day if she were to remove her SLOWNESS disease, she could have a Boston jacket and then we could marry. But until then, i will not be able to converse with her any longer. Upon saying this a smile came about her face and i think she said a prayer because she gave the sign of the cross. I think this means she is praying that she will be able to train sufficiently enough to get faster and be able to date me.
Anyways, i walked in the lockerroom and saw three naked old dudes talking about the war or something. I interrupted them and asked them if they liked my jacket. I told them that it was my BOSTON jacket and that it made me someone they should worship. They looked confused, so i provided them the background story surrounding my training leading up to it as well as a mile-by-mile analysis. After an hour of talking, i feel they respected me better. One of them said that i reminded them of a grandson they would like to have.. die before them. what an honor! This man wants for me to be his grandson. I then asked him his mile times. He said he didn't know, he wasn't aware he had to have mile times. I said that he was too slow to be my grandfather then. I said that until he age grades at 95% or better, then we probably shouldn't talk anymore.
I finished loading stuff in my locker and then headed to my treadmill. I chose my favorite treadmill and found that girl who liked me from a few days ago was on the adjacent 'mill. I took off my jacket and laid it over the arm bar of her treadmill. I started my 16-mile run at a 5:52 clip (warm-ups) when i felt a tap on my shoulder. it was the girl who wanted me. Before she could say anything, i looked at her treadmill and noticed she was running at 8.0 MPH. Albeit slow, i think she could really improve if she kept it up and finally be worthy of dating me. I asked her what was going on? I told her how much i missed seeing her? She looked confused and then asked me what the f$&% my jacket was doing on her treadmill. She must have had problems communicatng because i think what she meant was "What is this beautiful jacket? How did you earn it?" So i went on for an hour and fifteen minutes about training for boston, running in boston, what went wrong in boston, the suicide attempts for not breaking 2 hours at boston, my psychiatrist, my nutrition. When i was finished, she said "Wow, you actually spoke for over an hour without asking me one thing. you must be taken." To which i replied "no, no i am not." She then said "How surprising. Well anyways, my name is Kate and if you ever fucking talk to me again i will use my Tae Bo to fucking kick the living shit out of you. You are a horrible human being. I hope you get hurt and learn what its like to not run." She then walked away. Wow! What i took from this was that she wanted to know if i was single and that she does tae bo and her name was kate. I think a little love is in the air. Obviously, this kate wants me and would kill to have me in her life. Well, if she really improves her times and can let me review her athlinks.com account, then i think there is a slight possibility that we could date.
I got off the treadmill and noticed that i ran 16 miles in 1:33:32 which is around a 5:51 clip. Although this was not a challenging run, i just felt like getting some slow miles in. It did age-grade at a 78% so this was maybe a step up from a recovery run. But overall, today was a good day. I got to show people what it meant to be a champion and what it takes to wear a boston jacket. I also think i may have found someone who may be worthy to date me in three months when her 5k times are down. Love is in the air!
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