Day Seventeen: Treadmill Dirty Bit

So a friend e-mailed me a link of the Super Bowl halftime show this morning.  It was probably the most amazing thing I have ever seen in my life.  You see this band, The Black Eyed Peas, performed and sounded absolutely amazing... I was shocked that they performed halftime at the Super Bowl, because I had never heard their music before..  They performed these songs "Lets Get it Started", "Where's the Love" and my personal new favorite "Time of your life, Dirty Bit".  Well, i know i don't have a job and am down to my final $200 in my bank account, but i decided it would be best to purchase every single song they have ever made from i-Tunes to employ into my iPod for training purposes.  After all, it will be from my running that this bank account will be replenished.  And greatness needs to listen to greatness.  Game recognizes game, so i thought it was probably the most worthwhile investment one could make when in my situation.  But I am sure you have some difficulty understanding this as you are not in my situation, because, you are probably slow and may barely be able to squeeze in a 4:48 mile or so.

So today's training will just consist of a 20-mile treadmill run for recovery purposes at probably a 6:06 clip.  And i used the remaining funds that i had in my bank account, net of the iTunes purchases, to buy speakers for my iPod.  Now it has gotten warmer in the Chicagoland area, but the snow has not melted as much so i determined it to be in the best interest of the United States of America to train inside.

I arrived at the gym promptly in my "compression" garb.  Luckily most of the treadmills were empty as all of the SLOW people took days off.  It seems to be a contributing factor to their slowness, DAYS OFF.  Real runners don't rest.  In fact real runners don't sleep either.  look at Tera Moody, she doesn't sleep.  WELL she doesn't win either, so nevermind.

I set up my speakers on the treadmill and the plan was to play "Time of Your Life / Dirty Bit" for the first hour of the run.  I began the run and decided that 80 decibels was gonna be sufficient volume for the run.  I wanted it loud enough to energize my recovery run (and make tomorrow's run better) and make me feel like i am at the concert seeing them perform live.  Plus i get such a buzz from hearing the song that i figured 10 times in a row would just put me over the top.  After 15 minutes of this, i noticed there were other people ont he other treadmills, they appeared to be upset.... One guy started looking at me and was mouthing something, but i couldn't hear it because the music was on loud.  He was probably telling me great job and that i was inspiring him to complete his run too.  I was now through 45 minutes and was on the seventh playing of the Dirty Bit, when one of the managers just stood behind my treadmill.  He was probably trying to analyze my form as i know that could be of use for their personal trainers... Either way, i just kept running and smiling and occasionally singing  "IIIIIII HAADD THE TIME OF MY LIFE!!!"

Now 20 minutes passed, and the manager was still just standing there.  He had one of the personal trainers come along.  They just stood there.  What were they doing?  What were they saying?  No seriously, what were they saying?  I couldn't hear them because my Black Eyed Peas music was playing so loudly... Finally the trainer comes around to the front of my treadmill, picks up my speakers i had set up and throws it on the ground behind me.  The manager then took out a sledge hammer and smashed my music set up to pieces... I asked "What gives bro?  You ruined my TUNES!!"  and before they could say anything, everyone in the place started clapping and cheering....  It was as if everyone was against me. Everyone was against my run... Clearly it had nothing to do with the BlackEyed Peas because everyone has to love their music.  They are quite possibly the greatest band ever.

Well i finally finished my run in 2 hours and 2 minutes.  I was very sad at this point and disappointed.  Why would they destroy the one thing that I had spent my last monies on.... So i decided to go home..I was amid tears when one of the managers pulled me aside before i reached the exit door and said "I've had the time of my life, And I've never felt this way before, And I swear this is true, And I owe it all to you!!!"  Then the other trainer said "Douchy Twit" and pointed at me... JERKS!  SLOW JERKS....

Well i lost $200 today and i will no longer be going to this gym.... I guess people just don't have an appreciation for a great runner who listens to great tunes.  I was just trying to share my happiness and appreciation for the Black Eyed Peas with everyone... to quote Eminem, I guess that is why they call it window pane...